so here it is

A MISTAKE

My tears dried up
Right after you left
Don't know what happened
But I got so saddened
By what you did
And what you said
So I wrote this song
Just to interpret
My heart's aching
My voice is shaking
As i call your name
Hoping to wake up
Finding all this to be a dream
But you never came
It's such a shame
cuz i apologized
But you never forgave me
Neglected all my tries
You never bothered to ask
Why I wore that mask
That created distances between us
But now it's all over
No more lies
No more tries
No more aching of hearts
And no more breaking of trusts
Now that you are gone
and you are never gonna come back
Let me say this for the last time
I Love You!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know i know it's not tht gud but i like it
Do tell me wht u guys think!!!
Luv ya
zara
xxx

I think its amazing!!!! U did a great job!! U deserve a cookie!

ummmmmmmm scrumptious, the cookie was delicious Daniela
Thnx for the cookie
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

P.S: i finally got a "Download" link for "Light on" i'm so happyyyyyyyy


ummmmmmmm scrumptious, the cookie was delicious Daniela
Thnx for the cookie
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

P.S: i finally got a "Download" link for "Light on" i'm so happyyyyyyyy

that was truly wonderful somehow i felt that it came right out of your heart and thats what i like about it

I can sense what it feels like. Also i love the way you play with your literary terms and express your feelings and expressions through mere words.

OMG SHARKIE!!!!!!! thank you soooooooo muchhhhhhhhh u r an amazing friend
this is truly the most cutest compliment anyone gave me in my life
Thnx, well yeah it sort of came rite out of my head i was writing and writing and i never stopped and i like this song too cuz i never stopped to think what next? i mean i just kept on writing and writing anf there i was with this song finished
Luv ya
zara
xxx

Ur welcome 4 the cookie! So do you like the song "Light On"?

So good...impressive you should deffinatly keep writing as this is really good.

Lovin inx

awwwwwwwwww thnx a lot i love it tht u are loving it




yeah i listened to it and guess wht i got "DOWNLOADD LINK" for it
Just go to emp3world.com and there u can get the link and i just transferred it to my mp3 and i listen to it all night
Luv ya
zara
xxx

My friend is makin' me a CD and she's nice enough 2 put Light On on it so I can put it on my mp3 player! I can't wait!

ohh tht's cool, hey daniela i know u r a big fan of american idol AND DAVID COOK so plzz visit this blog and b sure to comment over there, the person who has made this blog, Ian, is also an archie and cookie as well as idol fan and he posts all the latest news abt them so i think tht blog id gud for u too( just like me)
So plzzzzzzzzz viist it

It's name is : http://ianlately.blogspot.com/

Luv ya
Zara
xxx

OK! I'll try 2 visit it 2 nite if I can get on the internet at home!

Ahhax ure welcome...anwaes abt ianlately...its an awesome site! REFRESHINGLY UPDATED!
Im luvin the journalist who keeps up on everysingle thing!
THE site just intro-ed me to JOSHUA PRICE possibly my next mini-idol next to Cookie of course...you should hear him sing!

ohh the one who sang time of my life and said he's gonna try out for the next season of idol?
Btw did u post any comment on tht site on any of the topic?
Ian will be really happy
Luv ya
zara
xxx

I thought I'd stop in and read the song. It is was really amazing. I could tell you wrote it from your heart and it came together as a masterpiece. Lovee itt

aww thnx a lot Sarah, it's very cute of u to say so
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

Anything time.

YEA YEA
Ahhax...Okaes ill try and comment.(even though i nvr commented on a blog b4...wonder if he has tagboards!)

aww Sarah tht's sweet, i think i've seen ur pic b4 in the members photos section yeahhhh i remember u.. u r cute
Luv ya
Zara
xxx




i dun think though tht his site has tagboards or naything u can just comment and b a follower ( i know u already r one )
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

Awww i loved the lyrics to that song!! It was amazing!

ohhhhhh Nicole Thnxxxxx a lot, well it's not tht gud hehehhe but just my imagination
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

Hey Zara I don't no if I told u yet but I did look at Ian's blog and it's pretty good!

tht's cool Daniela
Now tht u have a gmail account plzz try to comment on it, he'll be grateful to u
And he'll be encouraged too
Thnxx
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

Yup its me!! Haha and your welcome, it really is amazing!!!

Lolx...embarassed to sae this but hw do i comment?
P.S. Im quite busy now will reply to ure email l8er

hahha dun be sharkie
When u read one topic on ianlately underneath every topic there is a small line written 0 comments or whatver number of comments are there just click on tht and then wih ur aim id or aol id or gmail id just post ur comment
As simple as tht and in case if u dun have a any of the baove id's then i've sent u an invitation for gmail on ur hotmail id just accept it and make a gmail id
Hope tht helps!!!
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

Nicoleeeeee thnx a lot sweetie
luv u lots and lots
Zara
xxx

Oooo...hahaz thanks...didnt know it was that simple!
I'm so dumb.
EXAMS ARE OVER AND IM BACK IN ACTION
Check out my post anytime soon

i just did
U sound really happy and i'm really depressed cuz my EXAMS START FROM MONDAY THE NEXT WEEK ERGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
luv u
Zara
xxx

As i'll say it a milion times over...CHILL!
Heres a tip for the exam period,
Take a choco bar or sumthyn b4 the big exam...research has shown that chocolate makes your brain work faster

thnx i just NEEDED a reaon to tell my mom why i like chocolate so much cuz after drinking coffee and chocolate in the winter season i've these stupid pimples on my BIG face and it sucks
But thnxxxxxxxxxxx i'll make sure i eat a chocobar b4 every exam
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

OMG I wish I never read that post cuz now I'll blert that out 2 my friend kayla and she'll go and eat a million chocolates! She's obessed w/ chocolate and she gets so hyper! It's really funny though! She loves chocolate so much that she nicknamed her fav singer (Nick Carter) Kisses!!!

wonerful song <3
everybody can write better than me i suck at writing oh well
ur amazing thought keep on writing!

Hey Zara,

I'm sorry I thought I had already replied to you, just wanted to tell you that it is really good.

thnx Dani and u write really good songs too

Thnx lisa!!
Luv u guys a lot
Zara
xxx

I'm a writer and I can give some honest criticism if you really want that. I think it needs some more work. Revision is the important part of the process.

Here it is:

A MISTAKE
(needs a catchier title, and less negative, maybe a metaphor)

My tears dried up ('tears dried up' not really original or inspiring, could be improved)
Right after you left
Don't know what happened
But I got so saddened
("so saddened" is awkward, better is "so sad" or something more simple)
By what you did
And what you said
So I wrote this song
Just to interpret
My heart's aching
(heart aching = cliche)
My voice is shaking
(voice shaking, another cliche, look for something more original)
As i call your name
Hoping to wake up
Finding all this to be a dream
But you never came
It's such a shame
cuz i apologized
But you never forgave me
Neglected all my tries
You never bothered to ask
Why I wore that mask
(mask is a cliche, how about something to suggest the same thing?)
That created distances between us
(created distances between us--vague and too abstract, how about something more specific and hard-hitting or effective emotionally?)
But now it's all over
No more lies
No more tries
No more aching of hearts
(aching hearts, cliche again)
And no more breaking of trusts
(breaking of trusts, awkward, broken trust would be better, or something more original better yet)
Now that you are gone
and you are never gonna come back
Let me say this for the last time
I Love You!!!

There you go, hope it's helpful, I'm used to workshopping my writing with other writers, it hurts a little but it helps make better writing, and anyway it's fun to revise and make your song the best it can be. You've got a good start, keep working on it.

I like it
But i agree with what Sudoku said (:
I don't mind the cliches so much though But if you do keep them, use heart aching once only ^^

awwwwww thnx a million guys, thnx noura and sudoku it's just tht i write my songs with tunes in my head it isn't tht i just write and write without thinking tht whether tht phrase or line wud fit in wid my music or not, i'm used to write in tht way so.........
Well, wht u said is rite too, i totally agree wid u
In poetry, it's called diction tht's to say tht when the poet doesn't have the rhyming word he/she can always use words tht rhyme and it doesn't matter whether it makes sense or not..............i know a lot abt poetry so i can tell u tht at least
Thnx for the suggestions anyway it seems sudoku u were the only one who paid the most attention to wht i've written and i'm very happy abt tht afct
Luv u
Zara
xxx

LOLS.
Watcha mean by BIG face?
You have a beautiful face and you know it!
Yea yea...i getcha on the coffee + Choco =Pimples ahahahx


LOLS. KISSES.
I feel like having them nw!

Try writing.
The more you write the better you get!



Eh Sudoku!
I need those kinda comments.
Can you go check out on my post?
It's Called Leftover Love.

BIG face means FAT face basically
And yeah abt tht chocolate thingie, i've started taking too much coffee agen can't help it!!!

And sudoku's gr88!! i luv ppl criticising my work cuz it's like they help me to get better
Luv ya
Zara
xxx

Lols no la (Eh sry fr the LA part...Singaporean way of speaking)
Control yourself gerl...2 addictions at one go.
COOKIE n COFFEE?!
LOLS...
Wahhh everything also start with letter C.

Yea...sudoku is awesome but can't find here anywhere online now...
You sound like Cookie on AI against Simon lols.

heyyyyy u just gave me a new idea, coffee and cookie addicted tht's gonna be my status now
LOL hey i neve thought abt tht simon nd cookie thingie
U do have gr88 ideas

Lols im full of ImAgInATioN!
If you were to check out the International fans forum, COOKIES FROM THE SUNSHINE ISLAND, you'd be shocked to see my COOKRAZY side!

ohh i saw more from ur blog
I luvd "chips on the cookies" part
Gr8 imagination
Tht's wht i luvv abt u

Omg! I love the songs!!

Ahhax!
What makes me love you?
well i have a million but here are just a few:
You're Kindness stretches beyond the horizon,
Your sincerity to your songs leave me without a definition,
Your gratitude to every word i say,
You're the best all the way!

Lols.
I'm in the song making groove! Off to write another one!

hhahah nice nice

Ahhax hey guess what?
My friend's having this birthdae party and im the planner.
She's gonna have her party Hollywood style and the theme for the party is:
*drum rolls plz*
BE YOUR IDOL

Heck yea did i know what to wear!!!!!!!!
Lols...ive got everything set up except for the sccruffs lols.

hahha u r too funny
BE YOUR IDOL, hmmmmm SOUNDS AMAZING!!!
so wht's ur plan miss manager?

Ahhax....
So far im planning for her mom to make CD Cookies.(Turn the other way....Cookies CD)
LOLS.

Ya...and my friends gonna dress up as vanessa hudgens.
Possibly having an Idol-ish competition.
Decorations may include Red Carpet and stuff...

Wow pretty exciting!
Can't wait!

me too!!!
to hear abt it hehhehe
Vanessa hudgens and who's gonna be troy or shud i say zac

LOLS.
I dunnoe let's just hope its not that IDIOT eh?
Ahhax.
Wow as far as ive heard many of us are in variety of costumes.
One of them, Aishah, is going as Wilma in Scooby Doo lols.