I am happy on the outside, but crying inside
I am strong on the outside, but broken inside
I am never enough, always second best
I am alone and cold, always told what to do
I am never pretty enough, just a soul in this world
I am hurt inside, waiting to explode
I struggle with who I am and who I'm supposed to be
I feel left behind, never included
I feel as if I don't exist, just a waste of space
I am a burden to everyone in my presence
I am never enough, not even for myself
Full Version: I Am
QUOTE (Cara @ Oct 9 2008, 02:39 AM) 
I am happy on the outside, but crying inside
I am strong on the outside, but broken inside
I am never enough, always second best
I am alone and cold, always told what to do
I am never pretty enough, just a soul in this world
I am hurt inside, waiting to explode
I struggle with who I am and who I'm supposed to be
I feel left behind, never included
I feel as if I don't exist, just a waste of space
I am a burden to everyone in my presence
I am never enough, not even for myself
I am strong on the outside, but broken inside
I am never enough, always second best
I am alone and cold, always told what to do
I am never pretty enough, just a soul in this world
I am hurt inside, waiting to explode
I struggle with who I am and who I'm supposed to be
I feel left behind, never included
I feel as if I don't exist, just a waste of space
I am a burden to everyone in my presence
I am never enough, not even for myself
Just an opinion but im gonna put it straight.
Is this a song or a poem?
Either way part of your lines don't make sense.
eg. I am alone and cold, always told what to do
If you're alone, who's telling you what to do?
Anyways nice depression theme.
QUOTE (sharkiedoz @ Oct 8 2008, 10:41 PM)
Just an opinion but im gonna put it straight.
Is this a song or a poem?
Either way part of your lines don't make sense.
eg. I am alone and cold, always told what to do
If you're alone, who's telling you what to do?
Anyways nice depression theme.
Is this a song or a poem?
Either way part of your lines don't make sense.
eg. I am alone and cold, always told what to do
If you're alone, who's telling you what to do?
Anyways nice depression theme.
No sharkie it's so deep and touching and I MUST SAY amazingly written, if u try n understand it it's very simple
Like u said: "i am alone and cold, always told what to do"
Does it really mean tht she's living alone mayb she has a lot of ppl around her but they dun understand her and she's alone in tht sense tht she can never do wht she wants to everyone is bugging her to do this and tht.
Hope u'll understand sharkie
Btw cara really nice, even if u consider it a poem, poets always have their way of writing known as diction and u really wrote it NICELY
Luv ya
Zara
xxx
QUOTE (Zara @ Oct 9 2008, 11:41 PM)
No sharkie it's so deep and touching and I MUST SAY amazingly written, if u try n understand it it's very simple
Like u said: "i am alone and cold, always told what to do"
Does it really mean tht she's living alone mayb she has a lot of ppl around her but they dun understand her and she's alone in tht sense tht she can never do wht she wants to everyone is bugging her to do this and tht.
Hope u'll understand sharkie
Btw cara really nice, even if u consider it a poem, poets always have their way of writing known as diction and u really wrote it NICELY
Luv ya
Zara
xxx
Like u said: "i am alone and cold, always told what to do"
Does it really mean tht she's living alone mayb she has a lot of ppl around her but they dun understand her and she's alone in tht sense tht she can never do wht she wants to everyone is bugging her to do this and tht.
Hope u'll understand sharkie
Btw cara really nice, even if u consider it a poem, poets always have their way of writing known as diction and u really wrote it NICELY
Luv ya
Zara
xxx
Lolx okaes Sorries to CARA and no offense.
I got through better clarity from ZARA now.
My brain was just to logged by the previous exams...now, im better!
It was a reely nice poem with an extensive you of imagery and brain works. This kind of poems means something different to someone.Keep up the awesome work!
LOL sorry if i was rude 
i didn't mean to ( if i was rude )
it's just tht i liked the poem and read it really with tht sad feeling then it really got into me tht this poem has soul in it
Anywayzzz talk to u later ( after a week)
dun miss me
Luv ya
Zara
xxx
i didn't mean to ( if i was rude )it's just tht i liked the poem and read it really with tht sad feeling then it really got into me tht this poem has soul in it
Anywayzzz talk to u later ( after a week)
dun miss me
Luv ya
Zara
xxx
HI,
I SEE BOTH SHARKIE'S AND ZARA'S POINTS. IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE BROKEN AND STRUCTURED
INTO A PRETTY GOOD SONG. BUT IT IS WRITTEN MORE IN THE CONTEXT OF A POEM. DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH IT'S STILL A GOOD PIECE OF WRITING.
I SEE BOTH SHARKIE'S AND ZARA'S POINTS. IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE BROKEN AND STRUCTURED
INTO A PRETTY GOOD SONG. BUT IT IS WRITTEN MORE IN THE CONTEXT OF A POEM. DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH IT'S STILL A GOOD PIECE OF WRITING.
I like how it's written if you maybe added a bit more to it you could make it in to a song but otherwise as a poem it's gud to. Deffinatly (can't spell that word sorry!! ) have a way with words. Keep writing
) have a way with words. Keep writing
YEA rawk on!
At last someone gets to see my point but other wise you have a great way with words
At last someone gets to see my point but other wise you have a great way with words
QUOTE (lisa_l @ Oct 14 2008, 07:44 PM)
HI,
I SEE BOTH SHARKIE'S AND ZARA'S POINTS. IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE BROKEN AND STRUCTURED
INTO A PRETTY GOOD SONG. BUT IT IS WRITTEN MORE IN THE CONTEXT OF A POEM. DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH IT'S STILL A GOOD PIECE OF WRITING.
I SEE BOTH SHARKIE'S AND ZARA'S POINTS. IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE BROKEN AND STRUCTURED
INTO A PRETTY GOOD SONG. BUT IT IS WRITTEN MORE IN THE CONTEXT OF A POEM. DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH IT'S STILL A GOOD PIECE OF WRITING.
I agree with you that it seems to be written like a poem instead of being a song...it has a definite depression feel about it.
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