Alas, Papa Archuleta's dreams did not come true this year because David Cook — the bartender who only auditioned because he was coaxed into it by "Idol" producers when he accompanied his brother Andrew to try out — was crowned the winner.

Trust me, this isn't bad news. Even an Archuleta-ite who'd shriek and fall into a dead faint if she could so much as touch her beloved's hand would have to admit that the other David is just as worthy.

He was consistent, original, sexy, humble and kind. Though he'd never be accused of being overly chipper or enthusiastic, it was difficult — you could even say impossible — not to like him.[