Eh, some people can say the most random things!




For me:

*I'm listening in on my little sister's phone conversation*

My sister: So can you come over and swim?
Me:Orange chicken is blue!

Well, my brother-in-law is up this week from VA, and it's the first time we've seen him in 8 months. He was deployed w/ the Navy and came back at the end of last month. We'd known for a couple of weeks that he was coming up, but didn't tell my niece - we wanted it to be a surprise.

So, with cameras in hand, we all (myself, my parents, my sister, and my b-i-l) head over to her school to pick her up from kindergarten. We're waiting outside as the first group of walkers come out (the other am K class).

My b-i-l is in uniform, wearing his whites.... and this one little boy sees him and says...

"OMG... what's that guy doing here?"

Uhm, just yesterday:

I went to the US for vacation and just got back last Saturday. My friend IM-ed me last night asking me if I'm home already. So, I said yeah. Then out of all the questions he can ask, he asked me,
"Is the smell of the air there the same as here?"
Lol. I laughed really hard. Then I told another friend about what he asked, she also laughed, then asked me what my answer is to that question.
Laughed more hard after hearing it. LOL.

Today after work one of my bosses, another worker, and I were out back picking cherries. (we have an HUGE cherry tree out back, which I love) Anyway, this morning I was out there picking before we started and a squirrel was in the tree. My boss and I told my coworker about it when we were picking this evening. We were goofing around talking about how we would fight the squirrels for the cherries when my coworker says

"When I was a kid I tried to catch a squirrel once. It came at me and tried to bite me so I hit it in the head with a branch and knocked it out. It only had one eye, so I was trying to help it."

My stomach hurt I was laughing so much because they were completely serious. So calm like it happens everyday.

Idk what made me say this, but me and my friends were talking and I just randomley said "Purple Bananaaaaa" in like, a sing-song voice. I always have these urges to sing random stuff...
Quite amusing...

Okay, we got back from the store and we just bought water bottles. My dad asks my sister to put some more water in the fridge and she starts looking for them.

Sister:"Dad, where are they?"
Dad:"They're right there!"
Sister:"That's the gatorade..."
Dad:"Oh, they're right there."
Sister:*confused tone*"Uhm...dad, that's the vacuum."

I'm known for my randomness...It's fun 'cause my friends know to expect just about anything from me.
Me, my best friend Nicole, and her sister where in the car going to the bowling alley thing and it got really really quiet really fast, and since I literally cannot stand the quiet (seriously, I always have music or somesort of background noise on) I decided to shout the first thing that came to my mind, so I shouted "COOKIE!!" really loud. I was in the passenger seat, Nicole was driving and she is the type of person that you shouldn't do things like that to. She kinda swerved into the wrong lane...it's a good thing no cars were coming though.

Oh and today me and my mom were on our way back from the hospital (my sister had her baby girl today) and we were talking about driving and how expensive gas was and everything and all of sudden I just said "I wonder if unicorns can fly." I hadn't realized that I said it outloud, but my mom was laughing so hard so apparently I did.

Oh, one more. Me and Nicole were talking on the phone a few minutes ago about my sister and how she needs to name the baby before she leaves the hospital. (Yes, I know my sister just can't make up her mind.) And I was on here not really paying attention to the conversation and I just kinda mentioned Cookie, this is how our conversation went.

Me: I want Cookie.
Nicole: So, go in the kitchen and get one.
Me: Not that kinda cookie!
Nicole: Yeah, I know.
Me: I really want Cookie. My mom even said that he could have me.
Nicole: Nice, so just call him up and let him know.
Me: You have his phone number?!
Nicole: No, I thought you did.
Me: Are you kidding me? If I had his phone number you wouldn't here the end of it!

Yay for Cookie randomness!

ok, my friends are weird but i love em to death

Friend: (reffering to harry potter) Malfoy's dad gives me a boner.

thats all i can remember for now



btw i forgot to say that the person who said this is a girl...

On Mother's day me and my friend were at the park (my favorite place) and since there were kids on the merry-go-round thingy we were singing. Soon the kids got off and I ran to the merry-go-round and jumped in the middle of it and my friend started spinning me, needless to say I sort of fell over, so then I sat down on the bar things and said "It's easier to stand on the merry-go-round than sit, 'cause if you sit you fall off too easy." It sounded right in my head.

Something my cousin said...totally random and funny.
Cousin: Hey, how do you eat food?
Me: You stick the food in your mouth, chew, then swallow.
Cousin: Oh....then how come they aren't doing that? *points to computer screen where she is playing Sims*

Oh my gosh the inside quotes and jokes my friends have are awesome...

One is back a few years ago my friend and I went to see The Grudge...um... we HATED it...we walked out of the theater...turned to each other and said:

"The Grudge....what...the...*insert DC's favorite curse word here*?!

And we'll still randomly repeat that line even today.
....

Oh, I'm friends with a guy in Florida...our families are friends...and we'll go visit them or vise versa...

And some how we always end up having a word or catch phrase that gets said all the time during the trip. A few years back it was "Cod-piece"...

Guy looks pissed walking on the beach "Wonder if he's cod piece is too tight?"...eating out..."I wonder how big the cod piece is?"

Another time...and if you have the Anchorman soundtrack you'll understand this...

"OHH sweet jack lords hair, that's a mastiff!"...said it about every freaking thing under the sun.

Another classic was "Joy and rapture in the highest form."

...My coworker and I say "Centipedes?...In my vagina?" all the time...or quote lines from this:



Cause we're both like the pink and blue unicorns...

Omg! My friend and I do that too...
Have you seen the second one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFCSXr6qnv4

My friend and I do that noise when they were walking to Zeeeee lol.
<--- Super nerd.

Oh yes...yes.
At the start of the year we had to do a lot of price changing in our system so we'd randomly say to each other...

"Jenna (or Lisa depending on who said it) Jennnnnna Jennnnnnnna Jennnnnnna..."

"I'm right here what do you want?!"

"We're doing price changes Jenna!"

...SHUN...

OMG I LOVE CHARLIE THE UNICORN!!!

my friends and i at one time had the whole Candy Mountain song memorized and it was hilarious.
we still say SHUUNNN and "ITs a magical Leopluodon"

hehe

I picked up this really bad habit off a movie.. Whenever someone asks me for advice with something that has nothing to do with me i reply with:

As a third party in the situation with no personal obligation to the matter i think.....(insert answer)

Also another one is when it is completly quiet and noone is talking i burst out saying "oh my god, did i say that out loud?!?"

"I can't go out in the sun and stay out of the sun at the same time!"

Part of a little discussion about sunburns my parents and I were having. I'm the lightest complected out of my family, so my parents keep telling me "Stay out of the sun." However, they also know me to be a major homebody and tell me that, with how much I stay inside, they were considering painting little flowers, a sky and clouds on our creme walls so I would actually know what outside looked like...thus leading to the above quote.

On the way home my mom and I were talking about my knee and getting x-rays or something, needless to say, I wasn't exactly paying attention when I came up with this.

Here's the convo

Mom: Remind me on Monday to make you a doctor's appointment for Tuesday
Me: Why? I'm not sick, I don't need a doctor.
Mom: Your knee.
Me: Oh yeah.
Mom: They'll probably want to take x-rays to see if you chipped the bone.
Me: I wonder if you spell murky M-U-R-K-Y or M-E-R-K-Y.
Mom: What does that have to do with your knee?
Me: Huh? Oh, it doesn't.

Yeah, sometimes I go into my own little world, it gets my mom so frustrated.

I randomly quote movies all the time. It will be quiet at work and I will just bust out a line.

My favorite movies to quote are MAjor League, Ace Ventura and Full Metal Jacket.

I was talking to my friend on the phone, and I don't even remember who we were talking about, but we were talking about being mad at people, and she said something about hitting them with food, and I said, "And a dead fish", and then we were talking about how getting hit with a dead fish would be really gross, and then I said, "EWW! What if you cooked a dead fish?! That would be gross!"
...and then I realized that the only fish you cook are dead fish.

One time my family was eating dinner and, referring to the chicken, my brother said "Can someone please pass the logs?"

Also, me and my friend (same one mentioned above) we just shove a random stream of words together in situations that people would normally cuss or say like, "Holy crap!" or something. Like if we unexpectedly dropped something, we'd be like, "Holy snapbuckets of geese in a field!" or "Moose hairs on Sunday!" ...It's a little weird when you accidentally say something like that at school in front of people you don't know.

Oh and one time me and my friend (same one) were in a convenience store to buy candy, and she was taking forever to decide so like the third time I asked her what she was getting she went, "JUST CHICKEN!"

.....and I know there are lot of other random things we've said, but I can't think of them all right now.

This is the topic for me. I'm the most random out of all my friends...which is saying something because they're quite random themselves. Examples!!

I was sitting with two of my friends laughing at something stupid and one of them turns to me and says "We're such a great pair of three"

Or another time a friend of mine was eating goldfish crackers and he dropped one on the ground. So he stomped on it and started screaming "Look who's smiling now"...apparently the whole "snack that smiles back" thing got to him

When I first met this friend I was really quiet around him because I didn't really know him or his friends very well. So in his effort to make me talk his ice-breaker was..."So...I hear you like chocolate milk".

Then there was the time my one friend was talking about fish and for no apparent reason she said "Ah fish the cows of the sea" and then my other friend was like "But fish don't make milk!!!" it was sooo funny.

Or my guitar teacher! He's so hilarious! He says things without meaning to or thinking about it first sometimes. I learned this more than ever when I walked into my lesson a few weeks ago. My guitar teacher was talking to the bass teacher when I showed up. This is how the convo went.
BT: "Hey Man I have the worst problem with grubs in my lawn these days"
GT: "Did you know those grubs are the larva for june bugs? They live under the ground for hundreds of years and then come out for three months to mate before they die. Can you imagine that? I mean they just get it on (funniest voice EVER when he did that) and then they die! They're feeling all top of the world and then that's it! They're DEAD!!!!"
Me: "Wow...." I knew it was going to be an interesting lesson when we weren't even out of the waiting room and I'm getting something like this.
GT: "Did you know lobsters are the same way? That totally sucks man! I'm glad people aren't like that...imagine if they were? Then we'd..."
Me: "All right Bill Nye the Science guy come on..."
Everytime I tell that story I laugh

ME: 'good drive back?'
Elle; 'Yeah, but I saw a ghost'
ME: 'Seriously where?'
Elle; 'In a field, it was a sheep'
ME: 'A ghost sheep? How did you know it was a ghost?'
Elle; 'Because it was all white a blurry'
ME: 'Weren't you driving down a motorway?'
Elle; 'Yeah...'
ME: 'Do ghost sheep even exist?'
Elle; 'Totally'
ME: 'So the cat in my back garden right now could be a ghost cat?'
Elle; 'Totally...'

Me; You going to work today?
Sister; Yeah in an hour
Me; You don't sound to happy about it
Sister; Nope
Me; So you don't wanna go in?
Sister; I'd rather sh*t in my hands and clap

One time me and my friend Opal were having a convo and my other friend Tina just interrupts us with the dumbest comment ever' this was during school:

Me: What disney movies do u like?
Opal: U know i really like Aladdin!
Me: OH YEAH! if aladdin was real he would be so hot
Opal: oh yeah cause he's so tan! And tall. Haha we're so weird
Tina: ALADDIN is from Italy right?
Me: What?
Tina: Well he's tan so he has to be Italian
Me: DUDE R THERE ANY DESERTS IN ITALY?
Tina: oh ur right...then what is he?
Me: Moracan Tina....omg

then me and my other friend Gina we always talk bout AI. and we have huge fights and crap like that its hilarious.

'I hate waiting'
'I know it's like waiting for paint to dry'
'Or waiting for the wood burn'

'what?'

(you probably had to be there!)

Tonight:

Gareth: I'm hungry.
Donna: Me too! I fancy pizza....
Andy: But it's tuesday!
Michelle: Gahhhh! No where'll be open!
Me: It's gay night.... everywhere's open!
Andy Gay night! Where?
Me: Eeeeeverywhhere!!!
Gareth: So... garlic sauce and sausage all round?

*everyone groans!*
Five minutes later....

Gareth: Andy are you coming camping with me and Rich then?
Andy: Aye, why not!
Gareth: Cool!
Andy: Garlic sauce and sausage for breakfast then??!!!!!

*everyone falls about in hysterics!*

Okay, my friends are extremely random but I'll put that up later. Now I am going to put up.


Strange things that has been said or heard at horse shows

Me teaching a friend how to tack up a horse...never a good idea
"Where does the breastplate go?"
"On the breast"
"I'm not putting that on you!"
"For the horse..."

From the trainer at shows
"get him up, up more!"
"BOOBS TO THE SKY!!" Yeah...silent arena...it was awkward. But it got me laughing.
"Stick your butt up so far that if i stapled a bumper sticker i could read it perfectly!!" Thank GOD this was only in the practice ring.
'strong legs, squishy ass.' for the canter.
'squeeze it like toothpaste' for jumping.


Announcer at a schooling show one upon a time
the placings for class 7 are.....ummm.... well..where did i put them? umm...OH FUCK IT!! shit! did i just.....*static*.......im really and truly sorry if i offended anyone.." Made me laugh my butt off.

Guinness bolts- Trainer's reaction
"wow that was like an action movie....do it again!"

That's just some of them, those are the ones that totally STICK out to me LMAO