i know that this is really out of place here, but it occurred to me that 99% of us are women of all different ages and backgrounds. i really need some input on what to do.


my 17 year old sister just told me that she's pregnant. my mother and i agree that the best thing for her to do is have an abortion. she is too young to in no way ready to care for another human being. all she sees is the "awwwww, baby" part. she says that she knows how hard it will be, but she has no idea.

our mother was pregnant with me at 18 and we struggled all our lives. when i turned 19 i found out i was pregnant, and thought that i had to have the baby because my mother had me and i didn't want her to think i was taking the easy way out. to my surprise my mother wanted me to have an abortion and for me, it was the right decision.

i feel like i have a unique view, being not only the unexpected child, but also having been exactly where she is. i also understand my mom's point of view, cause i want my sister to have every opportunity she can.

she thinks that the father will stick around, but he's a 19 year old with a quasi-drug problem. (he "used to do hard stuff, but now only smokes weed" yeah.... right)




if you have any views, opinions or personal stories that you could share i'd appreciate it.

and please refrain from any derogatory remarks... only constructive comments, please!

okay, i am against abortion - how about adoption? There are A LOT of families out there, that can't have kids and would love to take care and raise one.


just my opinion. give the child a life - don't kill it!

personally, i'm also against abortion..
i think it's very unfair for the unborn baby not to be given a chance to live just because it's parents can't handle the responsibility. but of course, it's easy for me to say this because i haven't been in a situation like that of your family..it must be very hard for you, but what i find dissapointing in your situation is that it seems to me your sister didn't learn from your and your mother's experience. i feel very bad about how you view abortion, you can't just let yourself be pregnant a get away with it like a piece of thrash. true, having a baby in suh an age would be very difficult considering the drug problem the father is in. but please do take time to reconsider before doing some decisions you might regret, what we're talkin here is life same as yours and mine, give it a chance to live. if your sister can't really handle the responsibility, find some decent family who can adopt the baby..

Dear, dear Jediambero,
You are absolutely right, this is no place to receive advice on so serious a subject. All you will get is opinions and I'm sure you have enough of those of your own. Since you asked, I will give you my opinion so you don't think we're all uncaring heartless people here...

I would suggest you search high and low for some counseling for both you, your mom, and your little sister. I don't know if planned parenthood is neutral on the subject but if they are this thing needs to be addressed from both aspects, abortion or having the baby. This ultimately is your sister's decision in spite of her tender age.

The counselling that might be in order for you and your mom is to find out why you both had to make this decision and then your sister did, too. Birth control is readily available so that "accidents" are never accidents, they can be prevented.
Good luck to all of you...I'll be praying for you without judgement whatever your decision. Hugs!

ok...now a third against abortion...(sorry...lol)

honestly, it is a hard decision, no doubt. she's really young (im also 17), and realizing the facts, i would have to put myself in your sisters position:

having a child is lifechanging. if i found out if i was pregnant, i would first have to look at my situation.

~does she have a steady job?-at 17, most probably not.

~a good boyfriend that is planning on taking the responciblities that lie ahead?-again, reviewing what you said about her current boyfriend, it all depends on his attitude; but drug-users tend to either stay or leave....it just depends on his demeanor, and if he truly loves her.

~does she have support from family?-looking at what you posted, you and your mom care a lot about her well being, so i would put that as a "yes"

....ultimately, its your decision. but i would suggest putting the child up for adoption. your sister doesn't have to have an abortion. instead, you can give another needing family a child that can't have one of their own.

hope that helps <3
~ashley

I agree with the above statement. This is really not the place to discuss such a serious family matter. I'm not sure how things work in the US, but in the UK I would go to my GP who could then put me in touch with people whom I could discuss all of the options with.

Your sister really needs to speak to a none biased professional, who won't judge her or try to influence her final decision.

I'm also absolutely against abortion. As someone said above, it's unfair to the unborn child to not be given a chance just because the parents can't handle the responsibility. If she really can't handle it, then I think adoption is the best option.

However, in the case of teen pregnancies, I've always said "If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to take on full responsibility of your actions." It's her who's pregnant, and it is her child. All you can really do is give her your opinion on the matter, but at the end of the day, it's her decision, because if she makes a decision based on what her mother and sister want, and not based on what SHE wants, she may end up regretting it for the rest of her life and resenting you.

Just my 2 cents on the matter.